Don't Speak To Me Funny Candle

Shipping Information

UK Delivery

All UK orders are sent fully tracked.

Standard delivery, Royal Mail Tracked 48:

• Orders under £20: £6.99
• Orders £20 to £29.99: £4.99
• Orders £30 to £49.99: £3.50
• Orders £50 and over: free

Free standard delivery and Evri pickup-point delivery are available on UK orders of £50 or more. Royal Mail Tracked 24 costs an additional £3.50, including on orders of £50 or more.

Faster delivery, Royal Mail Tracked 24: available at checkout for £3.50 more than standard delivery. Royal Mail aims to deliver Tracked 24 parcels the next working day after they receive them. This is an aim, not a guarantee.

Evri pickup point: choose Pickup point at checkout to collect your parcel from a nearby Evri ParcelShop or locker. It costs the same as standard delivery: £6.99 on orders under £20, £4.99 on orders £20 to £29.99, £3.50 on orders £30 to £49.99, and free on orders of £50 and over. There is no extra charge for using a pickup point.

Collect from our shop: free collection from Contempo, 19 King Street, Stirling FK8 1DN. Choose Store pickup at checkout.

When will my order arrive?

We aim to dispatch most orders within one working day. We dispatch Monday to Friday, excluding bank holidays.

Once Royal Mail has your parcel, they aim to deliver Tracked 48 within 2 working days and Tracked 24 the next working day. These are Royal Mail's aims, not guarantees, and busy periods can cause delays.

Postcodes where Royal Mail's delivery aims do not apply

Royal Mail's delivery aims for Tracked 24 and Tracked 48 do not apply to the postcodes below, which cover parts of Scotland, Northern Ireland, the Isle of Man, the Channel Islands and the Isles of Scilly. We still deliver to these areas, but parcels may take longer: AB30 to AB38, AB41 to AB45, AB51 to AB56, AB99, BT, DD8 to DD10, DG7 to DG9, FK8, FK15 to FK21, GY, HS, IM, IV, JE, KA27 to KA28, KW1 to KW17, PA20 to PA38, PA41 to PA80, PH10 to PH11, PH13 to PH14, PH17 to PH18, PH19 to PH44, PH49 to PH50, TD15, TR21 to TR25, ZE.

International Delivery

We also offer international shipping on all products excluding Jellycat. Rates and delivery times vary by location – details are available at checkout.

Returns Policy

Hassle-Free Returns

We want you to love your purchase. If you are not completely satisfied, you can return your item within 30 days of receiving it for a refund. There are two ways to do it.

Bring it back to the shop

Pop into Contempo at 19 King Street, Stirling, with your item and your receipt or order confirmation, and we will take care of the rest. No need to email first. We are open Monday to Friday 10am to 6pm, Saturday 9:30am to 6pm and Sunday 10:30am to 5:30pm.

Send it back by post

1. Email us at customer.service@contempo.pro to let us know you would like to make a return.

2. Send the item back to us in its original condition.

Please note that return postage is the responsibility of the customer unless the item is faulty. Bringing your item into the shop costs you nothing. For more information, read our full Refunds Policy.

Exchanges

Changed your mind on the colour, or picked the wrong size? We’re happy to sort it. We don’t do a direct swap, so it works like this: send the original back for a refund using the steps above, then place a new order for the one you’d rather have. Same 30 day window, and it works the same way whether you’re in the UK or overseas.

Contempo is built on a clear and intentional set of values that guide every buying decision, supplier partnership, and customer interaction:

Originality – We avoid anything generic or overdone. We seek the unique, the overlooked, and the surprising.

Curiosity – We’re led by that “ooh, what’s this?” moment. If we’re excited, you will be too.

Playfulness – Whether it’s a cheeky candle or a pun-filled notebook, we believe our products should make you smile.

Design-Led Thinking – We obsess over how things look and feel. Beautiful packaging, clever design, meaningful form—these matter.

Inclusivity – Our shelves reflect a spectrum of personalities, tastes, and price points. Great design shouldn’t be elitist.

Independence – We champion small makers, independent brands, and ideas that don’t follow the crowd.

The politest way to say "not now", for anyone who needs a little time out.

The label reads "When this candle is lit, don't speak to me" in Mischief's signature bold red on a pale pink jar. Light it, settle in, and let the house get the message. Browse more candles in our collection.

Scented with Winter Forest, a limited seasonal edition, and hand poured in Manchester in natural soy wax. It makes a knowing gift for a busy mum, a frazzled friend or yourself, and sits happily among our gifts for her.

• Hand poured in Manchester
• Natural soy wax for a clean burn
• Winter Forest: limited seasonal scent
• Dimensions: 9.7 x 8.5cm, 30cl jar
• Recyclable gift box, ready to give

Strike the match, then enjoy the silence.